Self-Care & Boundaries During the Holidays:

Protecting Your Peace with Family and Friends

The holidays can be equal parts enchanting and overwhelming. From complicated family dynamics to social expectations and the pressure to “make it magical,” it’s completely normal to feel stressed or stretched thin.

If you’re already feeling that familiar tightness in your chest or the pressure to keep everyone happy, this is your reminder: your needs matter too. Here are a few ways to care for yourself and set healthy boundaries without feeling guilty.

1. Check Your Capacity Before You Say Yes

Before committing to an event, tradition, or task, pause and ask yourself:

• Do I actually have the energy for this?
• Will this feel nourishing or draining?

Your body will usually tell you, so pay attention to those signals.

2. Keep Your Boundaries Simple and Clear

Boundaries don’t need to be long explanations. They can be short, kind, and direct.

Examples:
“I can come for dinner, but I’ll need to head out afterward.”
“I’m not talking about politics this year, so if the conversation goes there, I’ll excuse myself.”

A boundary isn’t about controlling someone else. It’s about taking care of you.

3. Expect Some Discomfort (And Know That Doesn’t Mean You’re Wrong)

Feeling guilty or nervous when you set a boundary is completely normal, especially if this is new for you or if boundaries were often crossed or ignored in the past.

Try reminding yourself:
“I’m allowed to take care of myself, even if others don’t love my choices.”

4. Have a Regulation Plan Ready

Holiday gatherings can be overstimulating, so it helps to have grounding tools in your back pocket:

• Step outside for air
• Take slow, long exhales
• Stretch or subtly move your body
• Excuse yourself to the bathroom for a quick reset

Small moments of regulation make a big difference.

5. Give Yourself Permission to Leave Early

Leaving when you’re overwhelmed is not rude. It’s responsible.
Plan ahead so you know how you’ll step away if you need to.

6. Spend Time with People Who Feel Safe

Balance draining interactions with people who help you feel grounded, whether that’s friends, chosen family, your partner, or some intentional alone time.

Redefine What “Success” Looks Like

A successful holiday might simply be:

• Keeping one boundary
• Resting when you need to
• Saying no without overexplaining
• Choosing peace over perfection

That counts.

You Don’t Have to Navigate Holiday Stress Alone

If this season brings up anxiety, tension, or old wounds, therapy can help you understand what’s happening in your nervous system and build boundaries that feel doable and supportive.

Intentional Wellness offers online therapy for women, couples, and families throughout Nevada and Pennsylvania.

You deserve a holiday season that feels calmer, clearer, and more aligned with your needs.